How can we value diversity and
collaborate (instead of protecting, fighting or accommodating) in the
presence of discord? Experiment with the ideas below to transform the
energy of conflict into stronger relationships and win-win outcomes:
- Acknowledge conflict: Name it without making anyone wrong
- Reframe conflict: It is not
"bad" but the old making way for the new
- Recognize conflict styles: Value cooperation and assertiveness with the Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument
- Articulate benefits: What is
gained by working with others?
- Figure out what can you say yes
to: Check out William Ury's The Power of a Positive No
- Be transparent with decisions:
State if you are making a decision, making it with input from others,
voting or going for consensus
- Be agile: Proactively assess
what's working, what's not and what needs to change
- Practice direct communication: Say
it straight without sugar coating or sandwiching (good, bad, good)
- Speak thought bubbles out loud:
Articulate what you are making up before it turns into an elephant
- Stay centered: Check out Thomas
Crum's The Magic of Conflict
- Be curious: Choose fascination over judgment
- Build your EQ, SQ and TQ: Learn
emotional, social and team system awareness and management skills: Check
out Travis Bradley's Emotional Intelligence 2.0
- Elevate the conversation: Discuss
common vision and goals
- Check yourself: Is some part of you looking for a fight? Is your identity attached to something?
- Don't hide: Break out with the Question Behind the Question
- Learn needs-based communication: Enable everyone to win with Marshall Rosenberg's Non-Violent Communication
