Change can bring out our best or our worst. When we are leaving a position, struggling with a new leader, managing a conflict or wrestling with a decision beyond our influence, how do we do the right thing when we don't feel like it? When our emotions are triggered and all over the board, how can we stay integral, get our needs met and not "burn any bridges?"
Staying clean means managing our own emotional reactions without burdening or slandering others. It is the height of emotional intelligence.
To stay clean amidst change, experiment with these ideas:
- Whether you are right or not, interact with compassion
- Bring love versus malice
- Name/claim what is going on for you without projecting it on others
- Seek to resolve creatively rather than reactively
- Define reality (including constraints) and make choices that benefit all
- Manage your own emotional reactions productively and don’t collude with others about the situation
- Focus on what you can influence
- Share what is going on with you so others don't take it personally
- Do your job well
- Avoid the tendency to gossip, complain, or defend
- Meet challenge from a neutral or centered place
- Name what you are feeling and seek to resolve without blame
- Focus on lessons learned instead of mistakes
- Don’t take sides or expect others to do so either
- Breathe deeply, pause
If you can look your adversary (or those involved) in the eye AND face yourself in the mirror, you are clear, clean and will sleep better too!