Flourishing in 2013

Martin Segliman, a positive psychology guru, has shifted his work from happiness to flourishing. He invites us to go for lasting well-being (for all) instead of temporary boosts of pleasure (for me). Flourishing is about growth, learning and service to life regardless of circumstance. The elements of his model include:

• Positive emotions (of which happiness and life satisfaction are all aspects): Feeling joy, exuberance, love, passion, etc.
• Engagement: Being in flow
• Relationships: Experiencing interconnectedness
• Meaning: Contributing to something greater than self
• Achievement: Accomplishing 

Try out some of his exercises if the idea of thriving (instead of just surviving) calls you:

• Do a random act of kindness 
• Write down what you accomplish each day and why it is meaningful
• Use your signature strengths* as a human being to tackle unpleasant tasks
• Apply 2.9:1 positive to negative comment ratio (at work) and 5:1 (at home)

*To learn more about signature strengths check out the book Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being

To learn more about flourishing check out this tube video

Formula for Change

Gleicher's Change Formula D X V X F  > R asserts, “Three factors must be present for meaningful change to take place. These factors are D= Dissatisfaction with how things are now. V= Vision of what is possible. F= First, concrete steps that can be taken towards the vision. 

If the product of these three factors is greater than R= Resistance, then change is possible. Because D, V, and F are multiplied if any one is absent or low, then it will be harder to overcome resistance to change."

To test it out consider a significant change that lasted on your team, in your leadership or with your organization.

• What was irritating you? What wasn't working anymore?
• What was your desired future state? What did success look like, sound like, feel like? How did the aspiration benefit all?
• What was first? What baby steps did you take physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually? How was each action aligned with the dream?
• What did you notice about the creative tension between the dissatisfaction, desire and action and resistance as you progressed?

If the formula worked, apply what you learned in another category.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Communication is a key indicator of high performance on teams. If you have the courage to say what needs to be said in service to a team goal or agreement, take the time to verify your communication. Was what you verbalized heard? Was the meaning of your words captured? Did the receiver pick up the entire message?

Listening is different than hearing so it's important to check for understanding. Try the following and notice what happens with your impact at work:

• May I check my communication...? 
• What did you hear me say?
• Just so we are aligned, may I check out what you interpreted?"
• To help me be sure I communicated clearly would you let me know what you heard?
• Since it was hard for me to say that, would you share what you picked up?