Mind "Full"?

Fulfilling the incessant, unrealistic and demanding expectations of a noisy mind is an exercise in futility and yet it is a common occupation for many of us. 

Michael Singer, in his book “The Untethered Soul” recommends that we shift our attention from reinforcing the model we've created about how the world should be to cleaning up our inner state. Instead of resisting, perseverating, believing, justifying or re-suppressing what rises to the surface of our consciousness, we can choose what to keep and what to let go of in each moment by:

1. Honoring and respecting reality through conscious self-talk. When we find ourselves complaining about a driver, for example, we can simple name what is going on and consider the bigger picture. “I like to drive 5 miles over the speed limit and you prefer 10 miles under, who am I to impose my will on you? How can we all get to work safely and peacefully?"
2. Training our mind with a mantra. Whenever we notice our consciousness dropping into a lowered state of fear, anger, anxiety, guilt or lack of self-worth where we seek to control, protect or comply, we can reset our consciousness to a higher state. Rely on an internal statement such as, "I can handle this. There is a peaceful solution here. I can be of service. or We are here to learn and grow."
3. Relaxing into our experience. As an unkind, critical, defensive or blame-based thought arises in your mind, let go of any resistance to it. Allow the person, place or situation to be what it is. Release the tension and a painful thought has nothing to hold it in place and can't be stored for later use. 

 “There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing you are not the voice of the mind, you are the one who hears it.”- Michael Singer

For more:

Tony Robbins & Michael Singer Video 7-minute  

Michael Singer E-Course

Feed Forward instead of Back

Providing helpful feedback is a challenge for many leaders and teams. Why? We:

1. Limit it to a once a year annual review
2. Believe we will hurt someone's feelings 
3. Focus on the past vs. the future
4. Judge (what is wrong) instead of share an observation (what is)
5. Don't have feedback protocols or permissions in our team agreements
6. Discuss behavior only and miss impact
7. Muddle the communication for fear of reaction
8. Forget that we need others to help us see our blindspots 
9. Don't align feedback with desired results
10. Give one-way feedback instead of dialogue 
11. Wait too long to provide it

Feedback is a key practice on high-performing teams and not just from leader to team member. To address #3, shift your approach from feed "back" to feed "forward".  Instead of pointing out "what is wrong" (that often has a pinch of punishment energy to it) explore "what might be".  Instead of looking back at what can't be changed, look forward to what is possible.  

Try it for yourself with a direct report or colleague:

• Ask, "What is a behavior you would like to change or grow in? Why? And what difference would it make to goal achievement?"
• Brainstorm ideas and discuss solutions together 
• Invite him/her to select 2 ideas that most resonate to practice
• Discuss ways you can support

You may experience this as a generative, energizing experience and actually enjoy it. For more on FeedForward check out Marshall Goldsmith's research. Thanks to Liz for the discovery! 

Change vs. Transition

The pace of change is accelerating. Doing more with less is the norm. Teams must learn to welcome change and work with constraints to deliver winning results. One of the key differences in successful companies is the ability to anticipate and execute team changes as quickly and efficiently as possible.

How can you remain competitive when team membership constantly changes, new leaders come and go, initiatives change daily, mergers are on the horizon, revenue pressures are persistent, etc. etc.?

Transition expert William Bridges states, "It isn't the changes that can do you in, it's the transitions. Change is not the same as transition. Change is situational: the new boss, the changing team members, the new policy, the new law, the layoff. Transition is the psychological process people go through to come to terms with the new situation. Change is external. Transition is internal" 

We tend to spend our time on what's next and miss the opportunity to close out the past consciously and address the 4 D's of an ending; Disengagement, Dis-identification, Disenchantment, and Disorientation. 

Next time your team is in the midst of a transition (large or small), start with these questions to move from an ending, to the neutral zone and your new beginning:

1. What is changing?
2. What will actually be different because of the change?
3. What are you going to lose (or believe you will lose)?

4. What do you need to grieve, resolve, thank or let go of to move into the neutral zone?

5. What do you believe is possible now?

Creative Self Check List

We spend a lot of time learning how to recognize and manage our reactive self (which is important and valuable), but what if we used as much energy getting to know and express our creative self?

If there is a part of us that knows everything and has access to what we need in every moment, how do we know it when we see it? Here is a check list to get you started from healer Candace Lienhart:

• Sense of humor
• Calm, centered, mindful, present (not emotionally charged)
• Open to a variety of solutions (vs being attached to one answer)
• Willing to look at what is going on (vs. focusing on what is wrong)
• Has information and reference materials
• Can call a friend for help
• Does no harm or damage
• Never “outclassed”
• Authentic- Not afraid to expose self
• Nothing to lose
• Knows the answer sits next to problem (if it is yours)
• Want to better his/her own best (vs. compete against others)
• No punishment or weapons
• Has information from the past but doesn’t live there
• Tells the truth
• Alive in each moment (Doesn’t know in advance- can’t plan)
• Has no place to fall
• Full protection- Safe place because connected to highest truth
• Neutral (vs. fear, anxiety, lack of self-worth, guilt, anger)
• Strives for the highest and best of all
• Knows there is room for everyone to be fabulous
• Suspends judgment and quick assessments

The best way to begin is to invite your highest self to the party by asking.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Communication is a key indicator of high performance on teams. If you have the courage to say what needs to be said in service to a team goal or agreement, take the time to verify your communication. Was what you verbalized heard? Was the meaning of your words captured? Did the receiver pick up the entire message?

Listening is different than hearing so it's important to check for understanding. Try the following and notice what happens with your impact at work:

• May I check my communication...? 
• What did you hear me say?
• Just so we are aligned, may I check out what you interpreted?"
• To help me be sure I communicated clearly would you let me know what you heard?
• Since it was hard for me to say that, would you share what you picked up?

Craftsmanship on Teams

If you strive for excellence on your team consider the craftsmanship of Sushi Shokunin, Sukiyabashi Jiro. A Shokunin is a master of a profession-an artisan.

In the docu-movie, Jiro Dreams of Sushi you’ll note a care, commitment, focus and passion for the art of making Sushi. There is a grace, beauty, elegance and taste to Jiro’s work that generates buzz and a month’s wait to dine at his Sushi restaurant in Tokyo.

All Jiro, wants to do is “make better Sushi.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2L5IrkQTV0

To instill more craftsmanship on your team, apply Jiro’s insights by answering the following questions with your team:

·      Where is the artistry in your team’s work?

·      How do you inspire and deliver originality?

·      Where would a consistent practice, process or focus optimize results?

·      How do you define and monitor quality?

·      What motivates you?

·      What do you make better?