Feed Forward instead of Back

Providing helpful feedback is a challenge for many leaders and teams. Why? We:

1. Limit it to a once a year annual review
2. Believe we will hurt someone's feelings 
3. Focus on the past vs. the future
4. Judge (what is wrong) instead of share an observation (what is)
5. Don't have feedback protocols or permissions in our team agreements
6. Discuss behavior only and miss impact
7. Muddle the communication for fear of reaction
8. Forget that we need others to help us see our blindspots 
9. Don't align feedback with desired results
10. Give one-way feedback instead of dialogue 
11. Wait too long to provide it

Feedback is a key practice on high-performing teams and not just from leader to team member. To address #3, shift your approach from feed "back" to feed "forward".  Instead of pointing out "what is wrong" (that often has a pinch of punishment energy to it) explore "what might be".  Instead of looking back at what can't be changed, look forward to what is possible.  

Try it for yourself with a direct report or colleague:

• Ask, "What is a behavior you would like to change or grow in? Why? And what difference would it make to goal achievement?"
• Brainstorm ideas and discuss solutions together 
• Invite him/her to select 2 ideas that most resonate to practice
• Discuss ways you can support

You may experience this as a generative, energizing experience and actually enjoy it. For more on FeedForward check out Marshall Goldsmith's research. Thanks to Liz for the discovery! 

DISC and Crucial Cues

DISC is a great tool to understand communication, problem-solving, decision-making and work style preferences on teams. It's also incredibly helpful to increase awareness of how team members deal with tough conversations. When we are centered and neutral it's easier to have courageous dialogue in service to team goals. When we are not, our DISC preference can block the very conversation that is needed.

In "Crucial Conversations" by Patterson, Greeny, McMillan and Swtizler, the authors suggest that when stakes are high, opinions vary and emotions are strong, we have different coping mechanisms to stay safe. Here are some cues to look for as their research relates to DISC:

• D's (Driver/Dominance) may become more autocratic by controlling or masking as they fear loss of control. 
• I's (Influencer/Expressive) may push back by attacking or labeling as they fear rejection.
• S's (Steadiness/Amiable) may acquiesce by avoiding or withdrawing as they fear loss of stability. 
• C's (Conscientious/Analytical) may avoid by withdrawing or masking as they fear criticism.

Extroverted styles tend to be more assertive, louder or violent in their response to stress while introverted styles tend to be more passive, quiet or silent. Strive to understand your own preferences and those you work with to minimize self-protection and maximize performance!

For more on crucial conversations check out http://www.vitalsmarts.com/