Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean in your leadership?

"A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them boil for twenty minutes. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft and mushy. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hardened egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its deep flavor and inhaled its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin, outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I in my leadership? Am I the carrot that seems strong? But with pain and adversity, do I wilt and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid Spirit but, after adversity, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water - the very circumstance that brings the adversity, the pain, the hardship – into something quite wonderful. When the water gets hot, it releases its fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better, and change the situation around you for the better." --Author Unknown

Thank you to Clint for the resource!

Resilience

"More and more I have come to admire resilience," writes Jane Hirshfield in her poem "Optimism." Not the simple resistance of a pillow," she adds, "whose foam returns over and over to the same shape, but the sinuous tenacity of a tree: finding the light newly blocked on one side, it turns to another."

Where can you be more like a tree in your leadership?  How grounded are you? What are you reaching for? What is moving you?

Thanks to Rob Brezney for the resource Jane Hirshfield

Unspoken Rules?

Teams tend to implicitly follow the rules of a dominant operating system but rarely discuss what that structure is and if it is serves their goal achievement. David Kantor's research illuminates the structural dynamics in human systems. One element he asks us to consider is the unspoken rules (or ways of operating) that influence team performance. They are:

Closed: Prescriptive. Stability through control. Clearly defined roles. Strong, formal leadership. Emphasis on planning & execution. Top-driven decision making. Policy-oriented. Leader centric. Think Military.
Open: Freedom within Structure. Egalitarian participation. Everyone making a contribution. Shared leadership. Emphasis on collaboration. Process-oriented. Self-Directed. Think Montessori. 
Random: Generative. Exploration through improvisation. Lack of formal structure/process. Autonomy & individuality. Spontaneous bursts of energy. Emphasis on innovation. Transformation-oriented. Think Chaos Theory.

Which operating system do you prefer? What is the dominate system on your team? In your organization? Does each align or clash? How do these archetypes help or hinder results delivery?

Try not to judge or make one structure better than the other, as each has a time and place. Seek first to understand then consciously choose what system is optimal!

Source: Kantor Institute, Natarsha Hearn

Change vs. Transition

The pace of change is accelerating. Doing more with less is the norm. Teams must learn to welcome change and work with constraints to deliver winning results. One of the key differences in successful companies is the ability to anticipate and execute team changes as quickly and efficiently as possible.

How can you remain competitive when team membership constantly changes, new leaders come and go, initiatives change daily, mergers are on the horizon, revenue pressures are persistent, etc. etc.?

Transition expert William Bridges states, "It isn't the changes that can do you in, it's the transitions. Change is not the same as transition. Change is situational: the new boss, the changing team members, the new policy, the new law, the layoff. Transition is the psychological process people go through to come to terms with the new situation. Change is external. Transition is internal" 

We tend to spend our time on what's next and miss the opportunity to close out the past consciously and address the 4 D's of an ending; Disengagement, Dis-identification, Disenchantment, and Disorientation. 

Next time your team is in the midst of a transition (large or small), start with these questions to move from an ending, to the neutral zone and your new beginning:

1. What is changing?
2. What will actually be different because of the change?
3. What are you going to lose (or believe you will lose)?

4. What do you need to grieve, resolve, thank or let go of to move into the neutral zone?

5. What do you believe is possible now?

From Dysfunction to Cohesiveness

If you want to cultivate team excellence, where do you start?

Patrick Lencioni has recently renamed the 5 Dysfunctions of a Team to the 5 Behaviors of a Cohesive Team. It is more than semantics because teams that operate as a unified, synergistic whole do outperform those that don't. And what we put our attention on grows!

Begin by considering 5 fundamental areas of influence. Does your team:

• Trust in a transparent, honest and vulnerable manner?
• Engage in unfiltered dialogue around ideas and different perspectives? 
• Commit to and align fully with decisions (even when they disagree)?
• Hold each other accountable to team agreements?
• Deliver quality results on time and in budget with enthusiasm?

We've found that high levels of trust, conflict competence, commitment, accountability and results-orientation do in fact contribute to team excellence if we focus on what we do want (cohesion) instead of what we don't (dysfunction).

Trust Consciousness

Trust is foundational to leadership and team performance. If you have "it" you can have more fun and get the job done. If you don't, you start over each time in every interaction. The first consideration in building trust is to understand your own trust consciousness. To what degree do you trust?

Is trust earned, given or never possible? Who do you trust and why? Who don't you trust and why not? What are your underlying beliefs, experiences, mindsets and assumptions about trust?

Next, consider if you are trustworthy by exploring two kinds of trust - Competence and Character.

1. Competence is about capability and results. Do you have the ability to do your job, deliver desired outcomes, address real issues, clarify expectations and take responsibility for mistakes?
2. Character is about integrity and intent. Do you do walk the talk, follow-through, talk straight, exhibit no hidden agendas, care, right wrongs and share credit for accomplishments?

Experiment with smart trust (vs. blind trust) where you listen to understand, keep commitments and extend trust and notice what difference it makes.

For more check out www.speedoftrust.com.

Tune In

Some people argue with the idea that 80% of communication is non-verbal. I wonder if it's because we define body language as what we can observe like rolling eyes, crossed arms, a smile or the disconnect between what someone says and does. What if it includes what we think too?

Our thought bubbles broadcast information. Like a key that beams an invisible code to unlock a car door, how we think is a signal that influences relationships and outcomes.

For example, if I think you are stupid and give you a compliment you will most likely receive a message of incompetence and wonder why you don't feel empowered in my presence. If I believe I am better than you my arrogance will probably diminish your willingness to collaborate and innovate. If however, I assume positive intent and respect you'll more likely tell me what's really going on (vs. what you think I want to hear). If I know you are creative and resourceful, you'll express your best and resolve problems more quickly.

Energy follows thought, so it behooves us to be more aware of what our minds are transmitting and the degree to which our thoughts are aligned with desired results.

Start by tuning into your own beliefs, assumptions, expectations, interpretations and stories and notice how they influence the results you are getting. Then consider the degree to which your thinking is aligned with what you really want.

5 Ways to Well Being

Let's go for being well this year. According to research from the Center for Well Being at The New Economics Foundation "a small improvement in well being can help decrease mental health problems and enable people to flourish." The five ways to well being are:

1. Connect Greet people in the eye. Make time for family, friends and colleagues. 
2. Be Active Do something to get your heart rate up 30 minutes a day.
3. Take Notice Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Be aware of the world around you. 
4. Keep Learning Try something new. Take a class. Add a new skill to your toolbox.
5. Give Do something nice for someone else. Thank someone. Smile. 

For more go to www.nationalaccountsofwellbeing.org  

Thanks to Michelle for the resource.

Formula for Change

Gleicher's Change Formula D X V X F  > R asserts, “Three factors must be present for meaningful change to take place. These factors are D= Dissatisfaction with how things are now. V= Vision of what is possible. F= First, concrete steps that can be taken towards the vision. 

If the product of these three factors is greater than R= Resistance, then change is possible. Because D, V, and F are multiplied if any one is absent or low, then it will be harder to overcome resistance to change."

To test it out consider a significant change that lasted on your team, in your leadership or with your organization.

• What was irritating you? What wasn't working anymore?
• What was your desired future state? What did success look like, sound like, feel like? How did the aspiration benefit all?
• What was first? What baby steps did you take physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually? How was each action aligned with the dream?
• What did you notice about the creative tension between the dissatisfaction, desire and action and resistance as you progressed?

If the formula worked, apply what you learned in another category.