Touchy Feely?

Why must we continue using the words "touchy feely" to dismiss the very thing that can sustain desired results on a team?  These words are still used to describe leadership and team development efforts despite the findings that high emotional intelligence correlates to bigger salaries, innovation and sustainable business results. Strong working relationships actually reduce stress and improve productivity so why do we minimize the importance of human connection at work?

Is because we:

• Ignore or fear our own emotions?
• Enjoy zingers (humor at the expense of others)?
• Have experienced ineffective or poorly run team building events?
• Find it is easier to focus on tasks than people?
• Need a lot of personal space?
• Believe there is no place for emotions at work?
• Experience discomfort or embarrassment around people?
• Fear the reactions of others?
• Believe vulnerability is a weakness?

Make the time to explore your own thinking about human connection in the workplace and notice what beliefs, assumptions, stories or mindsets help or hinder your achievement. 

Leadership Effectiveness = Business Success

Leadership effectiveness is directly correlated to business success. Want to accelerate your impact? According to research by The Leadership Circle focus on the top three correlations to leadership effectiveness: 

1. Purposeful & Visionary- Live and work with a deep sense of meaning and stay focused on envisioned results even in the face of obstacles. 
2. Fostering Team Play- Create a positive climate that supports people doing their best.
3. Mentoring and Developing- Support the learning and career goals of your direct reports.

And, minimize the top three negative correlations by being less passive, distant or critical. Strive to:

• Advocate your ideas, be more decisive and address conflict gracefully
• Connect and truly care about your peers, colleagues and team members  
• Shift focus from "what is wrong?" to "what is going on?"

5 Ways to Well Being

Let's go for being well this year. According to research from the Center for Well Being at The New Economics Foundation "a small improvement in well being can help decrease mental health problems and enable people to flourish." The five ways to well being are:

1. Connect Greet people in the eye. Make time for family, friends and colleagues. 
2. Be Active Do something to get your heart rate up 30 minutes a day.
3. Take Notice Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Be aware of the world around you. 
4. Keep Learning Try something new. Take a class. Add a new skill to your toolbox.
5. Give Do something nice for someone else. Thank someone. Smile. 

For more go to www.nationalaccountsofwellbeing.org  

Thanks to Michelle for the resource.

Flourishing in 2013

Martin Segliman, a positive psychology guru, has shifted his work from happiness to flourishing. He invites us to go for lasting well-being (for all) instead of temporary boosts of pleasure (for me). Flourishing is about growth, learning and service to life regardless of circumstance. The elements of his model include:

• Positive emotions (of which happiness and life satisfaction are all aspects): Feeling joy, exuberance, love, passion, etc.
• Engagement: Being in flow
• Relationships: Experiencing interconnectedness
• Meaning: Contributing to something greater than self
• Achievement: Accomplishing 

Try out some of his exercises if the idea of thriving (instead of just surviving) calls you:

• Do a random act of kindness 
• Write down what you accomplish each day and why it is meaningful
• Use your signature strengths* as a human being to tackle unpleasant tasks
• Apply 2.9:1 positive to negative comment ratio (at work) and 5:1 (at home)

*To learn more about signature strengths check out the book Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being

To learn more about flourishing check out this tube video

Formula for Change

Gleicher's Change Formula D X V X F  > R asserts, “Three factors must be present for meaningful change to take place. These factors are D= Dissatisfaction with how things are now. V= Vision of what is possible. F= First, concrete steps that can be taken towards the vision. 

If the product of these three factors is greater than R= Resistance, then change is possible. Because D, V, and F are multiplied if any one is absent or low, then it will be harder to overcome resistance to change."

To test it out consider a significant change that lasted on your team, in your leadership or with your organization.

• What was irritating you? What wasn't working anymore?
• What was your desired future state? What did success look like, sound like, feel like? How did the aspiration benefit all?
• What was first? What baby steps did you take physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually? How was each action aligned with the dream?
• What did you notice about the creative tension between the dissatisfaction, desire and action and resistance as you progressed?

If the formula worked, apply what you learned in another category.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Communication is a key indicator of high performance on teams. If you have the courage to say what needs to be said in service to a team goal or agreement, take the time to verify your communication. Was what you verbalized heard? Was the meaning of your words captured? Did the receiver pick up the entire message?

Listening is different than hearing so it's important to check for understanding. Try the following and notice what happens with your impact at work:

• May I check my communication...? 
• What did you hear me say?
• Just so we are aligned, may I check out what you interpreted?"
• To help me be sure I communicated clearly would you let me know what you heard?
• Since it was hard for me to say that, would you share what you picked up?

Giving Thanks

"In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.”  - Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

Thanks to Marcy of www.coachingtoys.com for the quote.